【巧克力 x 89】

New semester started a week ago...
I was once intended to take up to 7 subjects...
Yes, I know this is insane... But somehow it still struck my mind...

Another year to go, I will be graduating from college...
I never want to have my college life to be dull...
But it seems I learn something out of it still...
Society activities will all come to a stop by now...
I am tired of all of these work and wanna concentrate in my academic by now...

My CGPA showed I'm actually not doing well anymore...
Not the usual of me, at least not being satisfied with such result...
3.0 seems getting further if I still don't put in enough effort by now...
B+ for all remaining subjects should be more than enough...
But somehow, I still don't feel much confident in myself yet...

I wasted too much time on unnecessary stuff...
Not to say 100% useless, I get to know some nice person out there...
But get to know, doesn't mean you gonna get close with them...

I was recently being left out of a trip group...
Well, not gonna blame on it since they planned since a year ago...
I was invited, but not acting fast enough to grab a flight ticket...
Not gonna blame anyone on this anyway...
But now they are going somewhere next year without me again...
This time not even an invitation...

It's not a good feeling, of course it's not...
Especially when you think they are the closest group you have with your best buddies in it..
And SURPRISINGLY, no one cares about your existence...
Well, telling me about it only after getting a ticket isn't gonna cure...
I will just have to learn to accept it anyway...

I guess this is part of LIFE...
No one can ever go on with the same group or people...
When you thought they are always there for you, they might not be...
Funny huh, but this is a realistic world...
FINE, and now I feel like I'm moaning abit too much...

BEST BUDDY or not... I don't really wanna look into it...
Until today he replied me saying about my backpack trip...
"I listen 1st” is what he replied me after I told him about it...
DAMN! FINE...I gonna go without you then...
No group? No friends to go along?!

DONE...I'm going ALL ALONE...
Sounds like a GOOD PLAN?
In fact, it don't...
I really CARES... Especially seeing friends all posting their travel photos over FB...
I'm not envy, just not being happy that I'm not be able to share my joy...

I should think that I'm still fortunate to have such opportunity to be what I am now...
Enjoying what I have, knowing people I wanna know...
There are plenty of unfortunate out there envy with what I have...
So I should learn how to be grateful...
Ya, it sounds more like self comfort... But I have to think that way...

Thanks for all you guys did...
Really thank you...