It's sem break... Ya I know...
After few days of jalan jalan cari makan.. I started to feel bored (as usual)
Plenty of plans to go for trip go into halt as plenty of places go flooded...
Oh ya another reason is OUT OF TICKET...
So hope that I got myself a car to go around Peninsular...
But hey.. That isn't worth it anyway...
Won't it be too demanding to ask a car just to travel around? ==
So instead of having my time out there spending ringgits...
I spend my own sweet time in front of lappy...
Surfing net like nobody... Trying to get as many new info as possible...
And HEY..! Guess what??
I found this post in Lowyat forum...
And now I know, " Wow, it's like so damn common for such problem nowadays"
I'm not alone facing it...
That also explains why I have scars all around...
Hard to explain them as ppl might just got scared off..
Even friends or whatever... Just tell them it's chicken pox spots will do ==
I was once hated it alot....
But now nahhh... It's more like part of my life...
If there is no way to go against it, then accept it...
Heyz dude,
heard about your girlfriend having eczema...Anyways I'm having the same condition too...Few things that you need to know though, eczema can be triggered by alot of things. Can be anything...
Define anything? Food for starters, is probably one of the most common things that can trigger it...Well for some of us might go Duhhhh...even I knew that, well not all of us do..so yeah be kind...
One thing I came to realize that my trigger would be, you know those latex bands, those neil armstrong ones, the ones you wear to symbolize something...No..I do not mean I am allergic to the cause, more like the latex used or the materials used to produce those, those things tend to make me itch more..one more supporting argument to justify is that, I have a rubber material watch which I do not wear anymore..why? It makes me itch.
So yeah, anything...and I do mean anything can cause eczema, from hair dyes right down to the food. And it doesn't necessarily have to spawn at the are where you have contracted, once it triggers, it can happen anywhere...Most of my areas that got affected are my legs and arms....
Which brings me to my next point, remember when I said anything? Stress can cause eczema as well...I bullshit you not. I know a couple of people who get eczema when they are stressed..Also, by stress, it doesn't only mean the type of stress where you stress of exams or assignments or work. IT's the type of stress where you are not sleeping enough or resting enough type of body stress.
Another thing that you have to be careful with..or rather your girlfriend, is bathing...Extremely hot or cold water is bad for the skin, causes it to be very uncomfortable. Although it maybe shiok...I know...I did it before, the effects after that is my skin turns really red...so yeah..try to avoid that at all costs...At least try...
Steroid creams and injections can help..I wouldn't deny this, I went through the miracle injection of steroids before..THe effects were almost instant...everything was gone and look stable, but after 3 days everything came back again...And steroid injection isn't cheap...steroid creams will help as well..but long term effects aren't good. As steroids can cause alot of damage...
And, just bear with me for awhile here...I know I am being abit long winded, but let me explain, eczema IS NOT A SKIN CONDITION, contrary to what people think, it's the immune system which causes all the itchyness and what not. So here's the linkage between steroids and the immune system. Every time you go for a steroid treatment, you suppress your immune system..What this means is, think of it as you are pushing down something, and when you do that, it loses the fight to come back up....so when your immune system is down, this means you are very vulnerable to various illnesses...
Or your immune system fights back but with force...maybe abit too much force...
So yeah..I would recommend if at best, a non-steroid treatment...I am undergoing one right now, eat pills...I would tell you now itself, it worked so well..I was cured...But after a long and gruelling process...Currently undergoing it again becauseee it came back...no it is not because the pills didn't work...more like my diet caused everything to come back..(Drink beer la, sleep late la, etc)
So now, I am going through everything again...Haha...you have to be prepared to fork out money and not to mention your diet has to be changed nearly 180 degrees...The diet they recommend is AVOID chicken at all costs, because of the hormons and what not they inject. Not saying you should therefore avoid chicken...no it does not work like that...cause the hormons clash with my medication and will therefore cause my condition to go backward before going forward...like 3 steps forward and 1 step back.
The name of the pill here is called HEROSE DERMA-ZEMA CAPSULE. You could contact the company and they can give you much more information then me...Btw, the information above is all real time and from what I gather from personal experience..I just want to share...THe most important medicine one can give to a eczema patient is, alot of sensitivity and care...
Yes...sensitivity...don't go round pointing and go Eiiyiierrrr ugly...Harlo...we also got feelings wan k...
So yeah I think I've said enough..hope the information is useful..good luck!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
【巧克力 x 105 】
What a night for me...
Sound funny for a 21-year-old boy to have a nightmare?
Hmm. I don't know, I never has had such bloody one until yesterday...
Just don't feel good of it... Really irritating...
Somehow why I write this is to reflect on how I feel on my examination...
I put high hope in scoring this paper, but things never gone that way in the finals.
I tend to mix up some principles and end up giving loads of wrong fact.
What does that mean? My ace has gone down to the drain...
Hurray... I have never been that bad feeling before lately...
And the feeling starts to come back, to feel bad after you screwed a paper.
Maybe that's my study passion come knocking my door again...
It has been some time since it last came into me.
What is my aim when I come into uni?
I have been thinking,
"Hey, I am not gonna have a chance to lay my hands on events again after I graduate."
"Hey, Uni life suppose to make one have a chance to try out these and that..."
I joined several events, keeping myself busy with work.
Trying to experience every single bit of it, scaring that I would never has a chance for it anymore.
Academic results? Well, not really concern much on it like last time...
Not after my SPM result being released.
That was a huge turning point of my life.
I thought it would secure me something, at least something to guarantee my tertiary studies.
I put in all my effort into it, striving so hard for Aces and I made it through...
12 As, without fail to achieve my target.
I was overjoyed for a few mins when I got it. Yesssss, just a few mins.
What make you feel so great? Your effort get paid off.
But it doesn't come in full package.
In the end, it still never secure my dream to study overseas and so on.
I missed out a lot during my secondary school life.
I might be the top boy in it, breaking all the prev record and keeping it still until today.
So what is the point? Money still rule...
In the end, you would see others fulfilling your dream by studying overseas with a mediocre result.
And you have to face it anyhow...
Going through that dramatic year in my family financial situation...
Family relationship ups and downs...
Even relative who give an cold eye on you when you get into shitssss...
I will forgive but never forget...
This is a realistic world, and it always have been.
Ideal world only exist in fairy tales..
And the real life is no where near it...
Quality? I don't know if I still possess any of it.
But I know I have to make things clear to myself...
Looking back is to make you stronger, not demotivating...
Looking back is to make you realise, what you have missed and never miss them again...
Opportunity might come twice, might not be too...
Never ever look down on yourself, no matter what happens...
Well, coming back to the paper...
It isn't that bad as thought...
Just losing an A, but might get a A- or a B+ back...
Comparing those C's I got in others, I tend to be too demanding this time.
Good thing is, I start to be demanding in my result again...
Bad thing is, it starts to make you ponder what you really hope for again...
Maybe not really bad too hahaha...
Sound funny for a 21-year-old boy to have a nightmare?
Hmm. I don't know, I never has had such bloody one until yesterday...
Just don't feel good of it... Really irritating...
Somehow why I write this is to reflect on how I feel on my examination...
I put high hope in scoring this paper, but things never gone that way in the finals.
I tend to mix up some principles and end up giving loads of wrong fact.
What does that mean? My ace has gone down to the drain...
Hurray... I have never been that bad feeling before lately...
And the feeling starts to come back, to feel bad after you screwed a paper.
Maybe that's my study passion come knocking my door again...
It has been some time since it last came into me.
What is my aim when I come into uni?
I have been thinking,
"Hey, I am not gonna have a chance to lay my hands on events again after I graduate."
"Hey, Uni life suppose to make one have a chance to try out these and that..."
I joined several events, keeping myself busy with work.
Trying to experience every single bit of it, scaring that I would never has a chance for it anymore.
Academic results? Well, not really concern much on it like last time...
Not after my SPM result being released.
That was a huge turning point of my life.
I thought it would secure me something, at least something to guarantee my tertiary studies.
I put in all my effort into it, striving so hard for Aces and I made it through...
12 As, without fail to achieve my target.
I was overjoyed for a few mins when I got it. Yesssss, just a few mins.
What make you feel so great? Your effort get paid off.
But it doesn't come in full package.
In the end, it still never secure my dream to study overseas and so on.
I missed out a lot during my secondary school life.
I might be the top boy in it, breaking all the prev record and keeping it still until today.
So what is the point? Money still rule...
In the end, you would see others fulfilling your dream by studying overseas with a mediocre result.
And you have to face it anyhow...
Going through that dramatic year in my family financial situation...
Family relationship ups and downs...
Even relative who give an cold eye on you when you get into shitssss...
I will forgive but never forget...
This is a realistic world, and it always have been.
Ideal world only exist in fairy tales..
And the real life is no where near it...
Quality? I don't know if I still possess any of it.
But I know I have to make things clear to myself...
Looking back is to make you stronger, not demotivating...
Looking back is to make you realise, what you have missed and never miss them again...
Opportunity might come twice, might not be too...
Never ever look down on yourself, no matter what happens...
Well, coming back to the paper...
It isn't that bad as thought...
Just losing an A, but might get a A- or a B+ back...
Comparing those C's I got in others, I tend to be too demanding this time.
Good thing is, I start to be demanding in my result again...
Bad thing is, it starts to make you ponder what you really hope for again...
Maybe not really bad too hahaha...
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
【巧克力 x 104】
Yesterday was the very big day for us...
Course Registration date has never been less glamour than any other date...
As usual, a hard fought war with hundreds of compatriot to get your desired timetable...
And this "tradition" has never fail to earn criticism...
Yep, without fail...
One thing good is that, UTAR management has been kind to seniors this time!
We got the privilege to login 2hours earlier to grab whatever subjects we are interested in...
And guess what, less than 2mins and we are done ...
No additional 30mins countdown clock, Server down blablabla...
GREAT STUFF!
But sorry to juniors... Most of them lost in the battle and become cry baby in Facebook...
It's always saddening to see them getting timetable which make them puke...
But this is smtg they have to get used to... Good luck pal!
Well, I did struggle before registering...
Thinking hard on should I extend my graduation date or not...
Listing all the possibilities, calculating all the pointer I need to get to achieve 3.00...
It's not smtg too hard to decide but it just took me hours...
I hope to graduate in time with the peers of course...
But will I regret later with the result not being up to expectation...
To take 7 subjects in the final semester is definitely a hardcore move...
Seeking advice from my dad, my friends, even my ex-colleague during internship...
Some say yes, some say no, some even give me loads of ambiguity...
I can understand... No matter how, it is still my call, my future...
I appreciate truthful answers from them... Yeah, even though I know some are not lolx
Esp this Mary.. LOL, her comment never fail with epic words...
But I know all her words are truthful...
She really think well on the consequences...
I think I made my decision partly because of her words too...
What is the point to rush my graduation when I have not achieved 3.00?
Below that is nothing much different with hundreds of others...
Not to say stand out, but I am already so near to the target...
With good track record in Co-Cu, erm not so bad English, just a little bit more for 3.00...
Why not spend another few months work hard for it?
It may not be significant in job finding...
But it definitely gonna mark smtg in my life...
That's for sure... And I am not gonna allow bad one to leave behind...
Thanks ^_^ I know you gonna read this...
Course Registration date has never been less glamour than any other date...
As usual, a hard fought war with hundreds of compatriot to get your desired timetable...
And this "tradition" has never fail to earn criticism...
Yep, without fail...
One thing good is that, UTAR management has been kind to seniors this time!
We got the privilege to login 2hours earlier to grab whatever subjects we are interested in...
And guess what, less than 2mins and we are done ...
No additional 30mins countdown clock, Server down blablabla...
GREAT STUFF!
But sorry to juniors... Most of them lost in the battle and become cry baby in Facebook...
It's always saddening to see them getting timetable which make them puke...
But this is smtg they have to get used to... Good luck pal!
Well, I did struggle before registering...
Thinking hard on should I extend my graduation date or not...
Listing all the possibilities, calculating all the pointer I need to get to achieve 3.00...
It's not smtg too hard to decide but it just took me hours...
I hope to graduate in time with the peers of course...
But will I regret later with the result not being up to expectation...
To take 7 subjects in the final semester is definitely a hardcore move...
Seeking advice from my dad, my friends, even my ex-colleague during internship...
Some say yes, some say no, some even give me loads of ambiguity...
I can understand... No matter how, it is still my call, my future...
I appreciate truthful answers from them... Yeah, even though I know some are not lolx
Esp this Mary.. LOL, her comment never fail with epic words...
But I know all her words are truthful...
She really think well on the consequences...
I think I made my decision partly because of her words too...
What is the point to rush my graduation when I have not achieved 3.00?
Below that is nothing much different with hundreds of others...
Not to say stand out, but I am already so near to the target...
With good track record in Co-Cu, erm not so bad English, just a little bit more for 3.00...
Why not spend another few months work hard for it?
It may not be significant in job finding...
But it definitely gonna mark smtg in my life...
That's for sure... And I am not gonna allow bad one to leave behind...
Thanks ^_^ I know you gonna read this...
Saturday, December 1, 2012
【巧克力 x 103 】
这学期也快走到尽头了...
记得小学时背的优美文章一样...
都喜欢把时间形容成巨轮一样，一直滚啊滚...
而我这一滚，就滚了七个星期，又是考试搏杀时期了...
对于这学期大致上还算满意...
两科被纳入积分的成绩到目前还算不错...
这学期也是最后一次能够为自己争取进入President或Dean List的时候...
三年课程居然没一次可以接近这行列...
这次是最后的机会，当然要放手一搏！
大学生涯就快走到尾声时却有着一份不舍...
不管是那三不五时挂冷气机的讲堂 （现在好多了）...
还是那每次等天梯迟到眼睁睁看着巴士在眼前开走 ...
还有跟那班朋友三不五时偷瞄班上美女 =X
这些都是在以后出来工作时的美好回忆...
对，只能够是回忆了...
毕业以后大家都会朝自己的方向奔去...
改行的改行，创业的创业，继续埋头苦读的继续努力...
回到属于自己的州属，书写自己的未来...
天下没有不散之宴席...
大家一起为我们的未来打拼吧！roarrrr
记得小学时背的优美文章一样...
都喜欢把时间形容成巨轮一样，一直滚啊滚...
而我这一滚，就滚了七个星期，又是考试搏杀时期了...
对于这学期大致上还算满意...
两科被纳入积分的成绩到目前还算不错...
这学期也是最后一次能够为自己争取进入President或Dean List的时候...
三年课程居然没一次可以接近这行列...
这次是最后的机会，当然要放手一搏！
大学生涯就快走到尾声时却有着一份不舍...
不管是那三不五时挂冷气机的讲堂 （现在好多了）...
还是那每次等天梯迟到眼睁睁看着巴士在眼前开走 ...
还有跟那班朋友三不五时偷瞄班上美女 =X
这些都是在以后出来工作时的美好回忆...
对，只能够是回忆了...
毕业以后大家都会朝自己的方向奔去...
改行的改行，创业的创业，继续埋头苦读的继续努力...
回到属于自己的州属，书写自己的未来...
天下没有不散之宴席...
Saturday, November 10, 2012
【巧克力 x 102】
慢慢地身边开始很多朋友已成双成对...
心底也因朋友得到幸福而感到开心...
看着他们两个人相处的甜蜜时光还真的会令人羡慕...
开始会有想找个伴的念头？也许吧...
不过一个人的生活也可以好好的，不是吗？
我是个热爱自由的人...
我不喜欢被束缚...
我不喜欢被冷落...
我不喜欢被猜疑...
总是觉得有了另一半就是开始该负责的时候...
两个人在一起似乎不只是两个人的事...
是两家人甚至是两个世界的事...
心中会自然地多了一份承担...
很多时候再也不是一个人可以做决定了...
种种的奇怪顾虑让我总是觉得自己还没准备好...
向往着单身的生活，却向往什么都分享的感觉...
适时的占有，让彼此都紧记对方的存在...
偶尔给对方来个意外惊喜，看着对方感动落泪的画面...
在艰难时，给对方一个温暖的拥抱然后轻抚她的头发说“没事，有我在”
手机会有事无事地收到一些甜蜜鼓励...
偶尔周末陪对方看个电影，来个美好晚餐...
牵着手走在热闹的街头... 来个紧紧的十指紧扣...
就连一起打扫房子也可以很甜蜜...
omg，看来我真的做梦了...
还有最重要的... 她可以做我最讨厌的家务事----烫衣服！XD
幸福就是牵着一双想牵的手... 两人一个走过繁华喧嚣...
两人一个守候彼此寂寞的夜晚... 陪伴着彼此分享生命里的每一时刻...
单纯的幸福也可以很精彩，不是吗？
心底也因朋友得到幸福而感到开心...
看着他们两个人相处的甜蜜时光还真的会令人羡慕...
开始会有想找个伴的念头？也许吧...
不过一个人的生活也可以好好的，不是吗？
我是个热爱自由的人...
我不喜欢被束缚...
我不喜欢被冷落...
我不喜欢被猜疑...
总是觉得有了另一半就是开始该负责的时候...
两个人在一起似乎不只是两个人的事...
是两家人甚至是两个世界的事...
心中会自然地多了一份承担...
很多时候再也不是一个人可以做决定了...
种种的奇怪顾虑让我总是觉得自己还没准备好...
向往着单身的生活，却向往什么都分享的感觉...
适时的占有，让彼此都紧记对方的存在...
偶尔给对方来个意外惊喜，看着对方感动落泪的画面...
在艰难时，给对方一个温暖的拥抱然后轻抚她的头发说“没事，有我在”
手机会有事无事地收到一些甜蜜鼓励...
偶尔周末陪对方看个电影，来个美好晚餐...
牵着手走在热闹的街头... 来个紧紧的十指紧扣...
就连一起打扫房子也可以很甜蜜...
omg，看来我真的做梦了...
还有最重要的... 她可以做我最讨厌的家务事----烫衣服！XD
幸福就是牵着一双想牵的手... 两人一个走过繁华喧嚣...
两人一个守候彼此寂寞的夜晚... 陪伴着彼此分享生命里的每一时刻...
单纯的幸福也可以很精彩，不是吗？
Monday, November 5, 2012
【巧克力 x 101】
Sighh... 这条路我已经走了三分之二...
却还是对自己的未来只有“朴树迷离”，“前路茫茫”的形容词...
难道我一直以来真的只是个机器...
一个只为了考取好成绩而狂背方程
中小学得到的好成绩只是个假象？
我们从小被训练出的思考模式是否
看了那篇文章，我从新评估了自己...
问了自己好多遍，我是真的喜欢数学吗？
还是因为从小我的数学比别
每当看着身边的系友比自己更
我的心就更犹豫...
我的内心挣扎被“一块”说得淋漓尽致...
不是每个人都能在起点知道自己想要的是什么，喜欢的是什么...
其实我走这条路对不对？
还是应该说，我还没真正踏上这条路...
每一天我都只
像个傻子一样每天都在重复做着同样的那无谓挣扎.... :(
却还是对自己的未来只有“朴树迷离”，“前路茫茫”的形容词...
难道我一直以来真的只是个机器...
一个只为了考取好成绩而狂背方程
中小学得到的好成绩只是个假象？
我们从小被训练出的思考模式是否
看了那篇文章，我从新评估了自己...
问了自己好多遍，我是真的喜欢数学吗？
还是因为从小我的数学比别
每当看着身边的系友比自己更
我的心就更犹豫...
我的内心挣扎被“一块”说得淋漓尽致...
不是每个人都能在起点知道自己想要的是什么，喜欢的是什么...
其实我走这条路对不对？
还是应该说，我还没真正踏上这条路...
每一天我都只
Sunday, October 21, 2012
【巧克力 x 100】
这个学期放假虽然说有3星期，不过假期永远是不够的...
从考试时的非常时期调适到假期的心情还真的需要好几天来转变...
不过自己也在假期里做了一些打算....
就是准备SOA考试！为自己的未来打拼一下...
不过考试还没来临是，我就踏步在热浪岛了！yahooo...
这也是我第一次自己plan好搭飞机旅行去...
带着一个重重的背包，跟一大伙儿一起旅行，感觉超棒的...
沿途和当地的接待人，度假屋员工的交谈，慢慢发掘当地特别的地方...
看看发出蓝光的海岸线，看看夏日嬷嬷茶的拍摄地点，晚上听着乐队驻唱...
到最后一天在机场好像敢死队一直横冲直撞，到了3点钟才吃午餐...
午餐后还要继续狂欢为大小姐（你知道我在讲你的=P）庆祝生日... XD
这些经验都真的很棒...
如果有机会，我还要好好的放假旅行一次... :)
*
**
前天，我带着战战兢兢的心情去赴考...
其实说起来，该念的好像都没念好...
上场考试也只是抱着一试的心态...
开始作答时，脑海里什么都不去想，只是做好眼前的考题...
这一方面我倒很满意自己的表现...
至少我真的把所有精神都放在作答，一点胡思乱想都没有...
35题，3个小时... 都是选择题，听起来还真的不会很难...
真的不会做，还可以1/5的机会试着tembak...
结果就这样3个小时过去了，迷迷糊糊考上了...^_^
**
*
Thursday, October 4, 2012
【巧克力 x 99】
×
创业需要一个团队.... 一个强壮健康的团队...
大家互相信任，互补互斥，才能发挥出团队力量...
×
××
×
你投产业，产业会变化； 你投技术，技术会过时；
你要投资的是那个团队...
××
创业者需要几种人格特质：
独立思考，韧性，耐挫力强，
永远可以找到解决问题的方法，不是一打就垮的那种....
×
创业条件：
一，慎选产业
二，没有准备好的时候，不要去创业
三，评估自己的危机承受度
四，口才
五，人脉
六，正确的心态
七，天助自助者
××
×
今天做得好是因为昨天做了很多对的事情...
你每天要把每件事情做好，很自然地，每一天都可以叫做很成功...
×
××
×××
------------ 【为自己争气 --- 潘健成】------------
创业需要一个团队.... 一个强壮健康的团队...
大家互相信任，互补互斥，才能发挥出团队力量...
×
××
×
你投产业，产业会变化； 你投技术，技术会过时；
你要投资的是那个团队...
××
创业者需要几种人格特质：
独立思考，韧性，耐挫力强，
永远可以找到解决问题的方法，不是一打就垮的那种....
×
创业条件：
一，慎选产业
二，没有准备好的时候，不要去创业
三，评估自己的危机承受度
四，口才
五，人脉
六，正确的心态
七，天助自助者
××
×
今天做得好是因为昨天做了很多对的事情...
你每天要把每件事情做好，很自然地，每一天都可以叫做很成功...
×
××
×××
------------ 【为自己争气 --- 潘健成】------------
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
【巧克力 x 98 】
终于考完了第三年的第一个学期...
不知道是不是过了那么多学期把那期待的心理给磨灭了...
面对假期也不会太多的遐想与期待...
反而假期才过了两天而已，我就有些不知所措了...
*
这学期的成绩也没有怎么变好，反而有退无进...
担心不担心也改变不了事实，不过我还真的担心会当掉科目...
×
六科该死的科目一个接一个而来...
这学期重念了两科当掉的科目感觉还不错...
还真的不明白为什么当初自己会当掉这两科...
人就是这样，总要在失去以后才学会珍惜，好好去念...
*
考过了Financial Economics II （那是六科里排第四个出场的该死科目）
我犹如释重负一样，感觉轻松很多了...
虽然在这科目考完后，我还有Statistical Simulation和Operation Research得应付...
但这让我喘息的感觉回来了...
是我在之前给我自己太多的压力吗？
×
不过这科目似乎也应付得不太好...
很多好像会做的，进了考场却似乎乱了阵脚...
好多的方程式在脑袋里打架...
到最后，只能听天由命？还是自己真的努力不够...
×
心里也给自己打个目标...
其实延迟毕业也不完全是坏事...
我的目标3.00其实真的是遥不可及吗？
看着成绩单上的C和C+，真的很令人咬牙切齿....
还得面对那讨人厌的讲师才是真的令人愤恨...
*
不过2.78的成绩也不算太烂？
其实当初也还蛮抗拒延迟毕业...
一直都想准时毕业，得个3.00，考多两份SOA...
结果目标似乎才完成了一半...
×
**
×××
这些日子很感谢身边的一些朋友的鼓励和支持...
嘻嘻！原来我也不会太孤单啦...
FE2麻烦了BYang一整天...
温习功课时又时不时找Ee抱怨...
有时被骂像小孩，不过我知道她都不生气.. XD
其实有个这样的朋友还真的很不错...
言语上有意无意去作弄她，也还不会生气...
其实自己也很坏，一直去挑战她的底线...
可怜的Ee，不过可怜归可怜，我还是会一样欺负的！XD
×××
**
×
不知道是不是过了那么多学期把那期待的心理给磨灭了...
面对假期也不会太多的遐想与期待...
反而假期才过了两天而已，我就有些不知所措了...
*
这学期的成绩也没有怎么变好，反而有退无进...
担心不担心也改变不了事实，不过我还真的担心会当掉科目...
×
六科该死的科目一个接一个而来...
这学期重念了两科当掉的科目感觉还不错...
还真的不明白为什么当初自己会当掉这两科...
人就是这样，总要在失去以后才学会珍惜，好好去念...
*
考过了Financial Economics II （那是六科里排第四个出场的该死科目）
我犹如释重负一样，感觉轻松很多了...
虽然在这科目考完后，我还有Statistical Simulation和Operation Research得应付...
但这让我喘息的感觉回来了...
是我在之前给我自己太多的压力吗？
×
不过这科目似乎也应付得不太好...
很多好像会做的，进了考场却似乎乱了阵脚...
好多的方程式在脑袋里打架...
到最后，只能听天由命？还是自己真的努力不够...
×
心里也给自己打个目标...
其实延迟毕业也不完全是坏事...
我的目标3.00其实真的是遥不可及吗？
看着成绩单上的C和C+，真的很令人咬牙切齿....
还得面对那讨人厌的讲师才是真的令人愤恨...
*
不过2.78的成绩也不算太烂？
其实当初也还蛮抗拒延迟毕业...
一直都想准时毕业，得个3.00，考多两份SOA...
结果目标似乎才完成了一半...
×
**
×××
这些日子很感谢身边的一些朋友的鼓励和支持...
嘻嘻！原来我也不会太孤单啦...
FE2麻烦了BYang一整天...
温习功课时又时不时找Ee抱怨...
有时被骂像小孩，不过我知道她都不生气.. XD
其实有个这样的朋友还真的很不错...
言语上有意无意去作弄她，也还不会生气...
其实自己也很坏，一直去挑战她的底线...
可怜的Ee，不过可怜归可怜，我还是会一样欺负的！XD
×××
**
×
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
【巧克力 x 97】
我开始厌倦回家的时候...
为什么别人回家都是开开心心的...
而我回家却一直都感到很不安...
不知道妈妈会在我耳边说些什么话语...
我不想去听，因为我不想知道原来存在那么多的问题...
其实问题可以解决吗？我自己也不知道...
只是我很了解说，这样的生活方式很不正常...
很不健康，不健康到分开好像更为适合在一起...
所以我开始不信任... 我开始不信任这家...
我连基本的开口说话的行为都忘了...
不，应该说在我开口说话前我必须去考量...
考量他们会怎么想，考量说会有什么后果...
我很想改善，却又害怕弄巧反拙...
结果，我最想做的是把自己反锁在房间里头...
外头发生什么事都可以不去理会...
这家开始很陌生...
开始很不温暖...
我开始萌生离开的念头...
我不想再待在这样的环境里头...
我不知道自己有没有能力去改变...
也我根本就没有...
好想好想中彩票...
中彩好像很梦幻...
但是我却一直都很想，不是因为我想好吃懒做...
也许是想扭转这局面...
但同时也不想去理会...
我的心里除了矛盾与恐惧，还是恐惧...
这几天病了，睡不好吃不好...
半夜伤风咳嗽，早上鼻塞难顶....
吃一餐泻一餐，好想这样死了就好...
学业？我好像才刚想起我还在念书...
不过也没什么啦... 反正的成绩也烂透了...
这人生的路好像不好走，但我心里更想不去走...
为什么别人回家都是开开心心的...
而我回家却一直都感到很不安...
不知道妈妈会在我耳边说些什么话语...
我不想去听，因为我不想知道原来存在那么多的问题...
其实问题可以解决吗？我自己也不知道...
只是我很了解说，这样的生活方式很不正常...
很不健康，不健康到分开好像更为适合在一起...
所以我开始不信任... 我开始不信任这家...
我连基本的开口说话的行为都忘了...
不，应该说在我开口说话前我必须去考量...
考量他们会怎么想，考量说会有什么后果...
我很想改善，却又害怕弄巧反拙...
结果，我最想做的是把自己反锁在房间里头...
外头发生什么事都可以不去理会...
这家开始很陌生...
开始很不温暖...
我开始萌生离开的念头...
我不想再待在这样的环境里头...
我不知道自己有没有能力去改变...
也我根本就没有...
好想好想中彩票...
中彩好像很梦幻...
但是我却一直都很想，不是因为我想好吃懒做...
也许是想扭转这局面...
但同时也不想去理会...
我的心里除了矛盾与恐惧，还是恐惧...
这几天病了，睡不好吃不好...
半夜伤风咳嗽，早上鼻塞难顶....
吃一餐泻一餐，好想这样死了就好...
学业？我好像才刚想起我还在念书...
不过也没什么啦... 反正的成绩也烂透了...
这人生的路好像不好走，但我心里更想不去走...
Friday, August 17, 2012
【巧克力 x 96】
很多时候一段感情的破裂正是因为沟通出现了问题...
Communication Breakdown... 这词一直在我的脑海里盘旋...
一段感情是不是都会有它的保鲜期？
保鲜期过了就会变得冷漠，一切的轰轰烈烈都只是过去...
从一开始，大家在一起时什么都可以分享...
慢慢地，上车后只问候“要吃些什么？” “随便啊”
然后慢慢地演变成一句话都不想说...
在暗地里猜疑对方的想法，然后再疑神疑鬼...
从一开始，大家都渴望对方的存在...
慢慢地，对方的存在只是纯粹的习惯...
慢慢地，对方的存在似乎不再重要...
慢慢地，对方的一举一动都会挑起你的不耐...
以前看不到的缺点却在这时候开始被放大...
怨气慢慢地累积... 哪怕有一天耐不住了，就爆发了...
其实每一段感情是不是都该有结果？
每一段感情是不是都该有它的期限？
知道是一回事，是否采取行动去解决是另一回事...
而最奇妙的是，大家往往都是只做到事情的前半段而放弃了后半段...
结果搞得不欢而散而遗憾一世？要不就一直互相折磨一世？
我一直都维持着一个信念...
两个人一起谈恋爱绝对不会是两个人的事...
两个人在一起是两个世界在谈恋爱...
双方的家庭，朋友圈子，甚至是工作和细小的个人生活习惯...
这一切一切都该被纳入考量以内....
有人说，爱他就要包容他的一切...
其实也没错，不过包容和纵容就只是那一线之差...
爱不可以是盲目...
两个人在一起一定要互相扶持...
互相为对方的事业和生活增添色彩...
而不是互扯后腿，成为对方生活上的累赘...
也许这包袱在这时候会被背得很甘心...
可是难保时间久了，担子重了后，对方会开始倦怠...
我一直渴望一个可以激发双方的上进心的伴...
两个一起很努力去建立彼此的未来...
与其建立一个只有对方的世界...
不如实际打造两人一同奋斗的未来世界...
一对情侣不是两个100分建立起来的...
而是两个50分来建立彼此的100分...
两个人手牵手的未来，建立在彼此的尊重与体谅..
一对恩爱的夫妻，若没有基本的尊重是不会长久的...
Communication Breakdown... 这词一直在我的脑海里盘旋...
一段感情是不是都会有它的保鲜期？
保鲜期过了就会变得冷漠，一切的轰轰烈烈都只是过去...
从一开始，大家在一起时什么都可以分享...
慢慢地，上车后只问候“要吃些什么？” “随便啊”
然后慢慢地演变成一句话都不想说...
在暗地里猜疑对方的想法，然后再疑神疑鬼...
从一开始，大家都渴望对方的存在...
慢慢地，对方的存在只是纯粹的习惯...
慢慢地，对方的存在似乎不再重要...
慢慢地，对方的一举一动都会挑起你的不耐...
以前看不到的缺点却在这时候开始被放大...
怨气慢慢地累积... 哪怕有一天耐不住了，就爆发了...
其实每一段感情是不是都该有结果？
每一段感情是不是都该有它的期限？
知道是一回事，是否采取行动去解决是另一回事...
而最奇妙的是，大家往往都是只做到事情的前半段而放弃了后半段...
结果搞得不欢而散而遗憾一世？要不就一直互相折磨一世？
我一直都维持着一个信念...
两个人一起谈恋爱绝对不会是两个人的事...
两个人在一起是两个世界在谈恋爱...
双方的家庭，朋友圈子，甚至是工作和细小的个人生活习惯...
这一切一切都该被纳入考量以内....
有人说，爱他就要包容他的一切...
其实也没错，不过包容和纵容就只是那一线之差...
爱不可以是盲目...
两个人在一起一定要互相扶持...
互相为对方的事业和生活增添色彩...
而不是互扯后腿，成为对方生活上的累赘...
也许这包袱在这时候会被背得很甘心...
可是难保时间久了，担子重了后，对方会开始倦怠...
我一直渴望一个可以激发双方的上进心的伴...
两个一起很努力去建立彼此的未来...
与其建立一个只有对方的世界...
不如实际打造两人一同奋斗的未来世界...
一对情侣不是两个100分建立起来的...
而是两个50分来建立彼此的100分...
两个人手牵手的未来，建立在彼此的尊重与体谅..
一对恩爱的夫妻，若没有基本的尊重是不会长久的...
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
【巧克力 x 95】
好久没回来这部落为自己的生命再留下足迹...
这阵子还真的为自己的事情忙了好一阵子...
很快很快... 我已经是个21岁的小子了...
好多好多的梦想正等待着我去完成...
心里有太多太多不切实际的想法...
不过人都是因为有梦想才会变得伟大，不是吗？
所以任何人都不可以阻止我发梦去！XD
在这2012年7月28号，我举办了我自己21岁的生日...
谢谢所有出席我的生日会的朋友们...
你们的出现让我的人生里程碑留下了你们的足迹...
这阵子还真的为自己的事情忙了好一阵子...
很快很快... 我已经是个21岁的小子了...
好多好多的梦想正等待着我去完成...
心里有太多太多不切实际的想法...
不过人都是因为有梦想才会变得伟大，不是吗？
所以任何人都不可以阻止我发梦去！XD
在这2012年7月28号，我举办了我自己21岁的生日...
谢谢所有出席我的生日会的朋友们...
你们的出现让我的人生里程碑留下了你们的足迹...
男生们的大合照
女生们的大合照
美女们 woo hoo
全体大合照！！！！
那么多的寿司，真的很很很吊胃口咯！
大伙儿为我唱生日歌... OMG
我被恶整的证据 =O
被迫吃下被加料的寿司 >.<
每个人都喜欢收到礼物的，不是吗？
朋友一生一起走.... :D
Sunday, July 8, 2012
【巧克力 x 94】
过了5星期的新学期，开始累积了“学习的心情”....
卸职了所有的学会职位...
虽然心里也有些不舍，毕竟很多很多的热情还在心底燃烧...
还希望可以在剩下的一年里办些更大型的活动，认识更多新朋友..
但是看看自己成绩单，有些时候取舍是必要的...
卸职后，我似乎有更多时间去走走吃吃...
可以把更多的时间留给自己... = )
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i-Heart Yogurt : 认识了Deric，很健谈的YogurtMan... 很感激他的支持= )
taadaaa.. 阿嫲豆花 Out for Grab... =)
30/6/2012
这一天也是第一次在UTAR办了Career Fair...
其实最让我满足的不是Event本身...
而是赞助的冰冻乳酪 Frozen Yogurt 和阿嫲豆花 Grandmom Dessert..！
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1/7/2012
钱包似乎又要穿洞了...
买了3件Giordano Polo Tee...
我的Collection又多了3件不一样颜色的Polo Tee...
不过我还是肥了，惨...
减肥计划进行中........
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4/7/2012
秘宛 - Bee Won 韩国餐...
终于在嘉骏的驱使下，我们去尝试了这餐厅的韩国菜...
其实在RM15的价钱得到这么丰盛的晚餐，其实还真的不贵..
只是那猪肉似乎有些油腻了吧... 偶尔吃其实还不赖...
P/S : 嘉骏的牛肉饭似乎更好吃... :)
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7/7/2012
和Hock Heng, Wai Kin, 和 Kuali 与“ Mr Ali ” 的合照...
这一天晚上和大伙儿 (Wai Kin, Hock Heng, Kuali, Cui Shan, Leyya, ShuXin, Mei Chee, Yin Leng)
一起到B.Manjalara 皇帝面 吃晚餐咯......
女生们与大厨的合照 = )
大伙儿与大厨的饭前合照....
晚餐还真丰富，烧鸭，烧鸡，客家面，叉烧云吞皇帝面，炸腐竹，莎莉水...
不只丰富，而且价钱公道... 我们每个人只是付10块钱哦.... = )
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晚餐一轮还不够，还要烧鱼哦！！
结果我们就到了甲洞【记得食】隔壁的烧鱼档...
虽然口碑不是很好，不过还是吃得开心啦 .... = )
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两轮晚餐后就到【炮兵屋】吃甜点了...
9个人，点了4锅冰...
结果4个男生比5个女生还要婆妈...
每道冰上桌后都要 cho to ma teh...
原因？因为我们要拍照啊... XD
他们都给每一道冰介绍了一番，还给它们配上了性格...
（上左）芒果草莓冰 ：热情 - 还不错啦... XD
（上右）芒果西瓜冰 ：开心 - Hock Heng 最爱
（下左）抹茶绿茶冰 ：清纯 - Yin Leng 和 Mei Chee 最爱
（下右）西瓜巧克力冰 ：忘了被标上什么性格了 >.< - Leyya 和 Shu Xin 最爱
Kuali 给大伙儿总结，好吃... XD
个人还是认为抹茶口味最适合我啦...
*
**
***
就这样我的星期六晚上很完美地度过了... XD
Monday, June 25, 2012
【巧克力 x 93】
Well, I took the first soft skill talks by UTAR in my 3rd year degree...
As usual, I make my own way in my little Myvi to PJ campus...
Dell Taiu, the speaker of the day...
A great inspirer, taught us plenty of skills which will benefit our working life in future..
I'm not really in tune for the first half of the talk...
Maybe due to Spain vs France game in the night before...
I'm just not focus enough...
And ya, I found that I tend to look at my phone more often recently...
Not a good sign...... Have to learn to control...
Learning how to identify problems may sound easy..
A tedious process but a very useful one if you could master it...
By stating the problem statement, it will let you have clear picture on what you face...
- State problems only based on FACTS, not opinions...
- Do not include Cause and Solutions while identifying your problem... (it affects your judgment later)
- Do not assign BLAME...! Solve problems not POINTING FINGERS... :)
By using Histogram, Pie Chart or whatever visual aids, it will make your picture even clearer...
A very good method to show the identified problems to the boss...
- Do not put in redundant data... Who wanna read repeating facts?
- Illustrate your graph in a clear manner
- Do not do complicated calculation.. Shows only SIGNIFICANT FIGURES...
- Highlight on the important parts in the Graph itself... eg: highlight on the comparison data
- Chart ONLY important matters
- Dangerous if graph axis not being plotted properly
- Use chart to explain but not repeating your facts..
Learn how to be specific on your problem, spend time only on the problem scope!
So always ask WHY... WHY... and WHY... You will get the ROOT CAUSE ...
Never believe in anyone until you managed to identify it with ur own eyes... :)
EVIDENCE is the only thing you could believe on...
Ask yourself few questions before coming with suggestions on solutions...
- Is it being tested?
- Will it solve all or just part of the problem?
- Will it achieve the target for improvement?
- Is it practical?
- How fast will it work?
- Is it a long term or just a short term solution?
- Does it satisfy customer requirement?
- Will it improve service quality?
- Is the solution cost effective?
So list your steps as a Working Instruction (proper documentation) for future reference...
Don't be stingy, just share what you have... State them clearly...
God knows? You might need them in future.. :)
After one day of listening, I still don't feel enough...
Obviously, one-day-talk can't make you survive in corporate forever...
The most important part, is how you bring yourself in the corporate...
Your attitude and your character will determine how fast you climb your corporate ladder :)
Monday, June 11, 2012
【巧克力 x 92】
每次听人说，世界上没有永远的朋友，也不会有永远的敌人。
朋友有
真正的朋友永远会在第一时候想到你，不管
朋友有
真正的朋友永远会在第一时候想到你，不管
我不喜欢被冷落的感觉。
我想也不会有人喜欢这感觉。
特别是自己在大半大学生涯里一起混的同伴。
也许是我敏感，但我真的不喜欢被人隐瞒。
当自己一块一块地把拼图来得知那残忍的真相，很不好受。
为什么不坦白告诉我？也许你说...
“哦，那时候订机票很急，没联络上你。我现在给你再check check看还有位子嘛”
我想就算你没找到位子给我，我也不会怪你。
而不是要让我慢慢去“探听”才得知你们十来人已经为毕业旅行给完全计划好了。
而我只是计划外的一个过路人。
这学期很多班都不跟你们一样了。
我也不想每一堂课跟你们一样了。
因为我失去了那原来的归属感。
你们吃冰淇淋我也不会想要筹热闹。
当我一个一个问起你们得到的答案是“不知道”，而不是真相时...
很多的感觉在我心里都已经慢慢死去了...............
以后我不会很豪迈地在你们面前大声说话大声笑。
因为我不会是以前的我，就像你们不会是我心目中的你们一样。
我不会以其人之道，还其人之身...
但你们也不要怪我对你们的感觉生变。
因为你们给我的也不过是如此。
朋友多不代表你们可以如此对待我。
我朋友再多，也不曾对你们冷落过。
至少我不会再你们的背后做些小动作把一大群人来孤立一个人。
也很谢谢你，认识了10年的朋友跟他们做一样的事。
若你的心里真的有我，情况再紧急你都会问我一声。
也好，我也不会稀罕了。。。
至少现在我把很多情况都搞清楚了。
也许社会是如此现实，谢谢你们给我那么宝贵的一堂课。
我真的希望明年我的毕业旅行会比你们的Langkawi之旅更来得丰富...
但是冷静后，我不会再强迫自己做一些事情来跟你们比较。
毕竟你们在我的心里的份量也不会是以前的如此重要了。
我没有了我的Permanent Group也许会是个独行侠。。。
但比起在一个没有归属感的Group里当个可有可无的烂角色，我宁愿自立门户当个无名小子。
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昨天隔壁的邻居到我家里来按门铃吵架...
感觉也真的很糟，我把妈妈挡在身后跟那对夫妻口舌了一下。
Because of a small brick being moved, you wanna make things so complicated...
一个小砖头，被那uncle挑从我们搬进来到现在1年多的每样小事情。
当下还真的气炸了，但现在想起来都好笑。
一个大男人竟然学人家翻旧账，还要是两年前的旧账一个个地数。
被驳回了就挑些小小问题，哈哈哈...
当时还真的很生气，至少我不要妈妈被人用这样的语气责骂。
晚上跟爸爸说了情况，爸爸也按了对方门铃和气地说这一件事。
“以前的事当粉笔字抹掉它” 这句话好像港剧的对白。
但昨天晚上却派上用场了。
我很讨厌别人的狗眼看人低。
总是仗着自己的英文不错而看低我们家里说华文一样。
真的很无聊的比较，也许我的EQ还不够高。
原来我们也会说不错的英文哦。 但其实也没什么好高兴的。
只是不想要每次被那种眼光来看。
爸爸把事情也处理地很理想。
也以很温和的语气表达了他的警告。
相信以后也不敢再乱按门铃找架吵了吧。
其实做邻居不是以和为贵吗？哪有人过来别人屋子按门铃找架吵呢？
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最近的报章都是很令人担忧的问题。
女生差点被掳走，女郎差些被贩卖到泰国。
这是什么样的世界？
不知道下一个受害者是谁，但这社会真的生病了。
只能祈祷自己不会是那幸运的一个？
这样人心惶惶的生活还真的很吓人。
Saturday, June 9, 2012
【巧克力 x 91】
Things get so messed up at times...
Ya, I'm still very new in planning a trip...
Not everything going in place as planned...
Well, it seems like gonna change by every time I almost fix the last puzzle...
Anyhow, I still learn from the process...
Just that I don't feel good for my friends who have been showing support to join it...
Thanks alot to Mary and the group.. And sorry for not getting things sorted..
Gonna work harder tomorrow and hopefully to have a pleasant trip with them in Sept :)
Ya, I'm still very new in planning a trip...
Not everything going in place as planned...
Well, it seems like gonna change by every time I almost fix the last puzzle...
- Flight ticket is a big knowledge.. It's always better to book a ticket with promo, so act FAST...
- Read on reviews on the hotel before getting a trip planned... It's the MOST important part anyway.
I missed the promo period in May which I have to grab the cheap tickets beforehand...
I was aware, planning on overseas trip too...
Telling the group of people that the promo is up for grab...
Fine, then they booked ticket to a trip without me anyway...
I asked everyone of them for the Langkawi trip I planned...
I already know their answer before even they say anything...
Just that I wanna see how they respond to me...
Fine, still wanna hide stuff from me... It's kinda cold to know all these...
But at least now I know... Our friendship just cost a trip.. >.<
Anyhow, I still learn from the process...
Just that I don't feel good for my friends who have been showing support to join it...
Thanks alot to Mary and the group.. And sorry for not getting things sorted..
Gonna work harder tomorrow and hopefully to have a pleasant trip with them in Sept :)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
【巧克力 x 90】
Sometimes life get hard... But it's not as hard as we thought...
We always tend to magnified what is being placed in front of us..
Especially on problems...
After some time, you might just look back and say....
"Hey, it's not too bad anyway..."
Well that's what we always did...
So cheers and go on with a strong heart :)
We always tend to magnified what is being placed in front of us..
Especially on problems...
After some time, you might just look back and say....
"Hey, it's not too bad anyway..."
Well that's what we always did...
Sunday, June 3, 2012
【巧克力 x 89】
New semester started a week ago...
I was once intended to take up to 7 subjects...
Yes, I know this is insane... But somehow it still struck my mind...
Another year to go, I will be graduating from college...
I never want to have my college life to be dull...
But it seems I learn something out of it still...
Society activities will all come to a stop by now...
I am tired of all of these work and wanna concentrate in my academic by now...
My CGPA showed I'm actually not doing well anymore...
Not the usual of me, at least not being satisfied with such result...
3.0 seems getting further if I still don't put in enough effort by now...
B+ for all remaining subjects should be more than enough...
But somehow, I still don't feel much confident in myself yet...
I wasted too much time on unnecessary stuff...
Not to say 100% useless, I get to know some nice person out there...
But get to know, doesn't mean you gonna get close with them...
I was recently being left out of a trip group...
Well, not gonna blame on it since they planned since a year ago...
I was invited, but not acting fast enough to grab a flight ticket...
Not gonna blame anyone on this anyway...
But now they are going somewhere next year without me again...
This time not even an invitation...
It's not a good feeling, of course it's not...
Especially when you think they are the closest group you have with your best buddies in it..
And SURPRISINGLY, no one cares about your existence...
Well, telling me about it only after getting a ticket isn't gonna cure...
I will just have to learn to accept it anyway...
I guess this is part of LIFE...
No one can ever go on with the same group or people...
When you thought they are always there for you, they might not be...
Funny huh, but this is a realistic world...
FINE, and now I feel like I'm moaning abit too much...
BEST BUDDY or not... I don't really wanna look into it...
Until today he replied me saying about my backpack trip...
"I listen 1st” is what he replied me after I told him about it...
DAMN! FINE...I gonna go without you then...
No group? No friends to go along?!
DONE...I'm going ALL ALONE...
Sounds like a GOOD PLAN?
In fact, it don't...
I really CARES... Especially seeing friends all posting their travel photos over FB...
I'm not envy, just not being happy that I'm not be able to share my joy...
I should think that I'm still fortunate to have such opportunity to be what I am now...
Enjoying what I have, knowing people I wanna know...
There are plenty of unfortunate out there envy with what I have...
So I should learn how to be grateful...
Ya, it sounds more like self comfort... But I have to think that way...
Thanks for all you guys did...
Really thank you...
I was once intended to take up to 7 subjects...
Yes, I know this is insane... But somehow it still struck my mind...
Another year to go, I will be graduating from college...
I never want to have my college life to be dull...
But it seems I learn something out of it still...
Society activities will all come to a stop by now...
I am tired of all of these work and wanna concentrate in my academic by now...
My CGPA showed I'm actually not doing well anymore...
Not the usual of me, at least not being satisfied with such result...
3.0 seems getting further if I still don't put in enough effort by now...
B+ for all remaining subjects should be more than enough...
But somehow, I still don't feel much confident in myself yet...
I wasted too much time on unnecessary stuff...
Not to say 100% useless, I get to know some nice person out there...
But get to know, doesn't mean you gonna get close with them...
I was recently being left out of a trip group...
Well, not gonna blame on it since they planned since a year ago...
I was invited, but not acting fast enough to grab a flight ticket...
Not gonna blame anyone on this anyway...
But now they are going somewhere next year without me again...
This time not even an invitation...
It's not a good feeling, of course it's not...
Especially when you think they are the closest group you have with your best buddies in it..
And SURPRISINGLY, no one cares about your existence...
Well, telling me about it only after getting a ticket isn't gonna cure...
I will just have to learn to accept it anyway...
I guess this is part of LIFE...
No one can ever go on with the same group or people...
When you thought they are always there for you, they might not be...
Funny huh, but this is a realistic world...
FINE, and now I feel like I'm moaning abit too much...
BEST BUDDY or not... I don't really wanna look into it...
Until today he replied me saying about my backpack trip...
"I listen 1st” is what he replied me after I told him about it...
DAMN! FINE...I gonna go without you then...
No group? No friends to go along?!
DONE...I'm going ALL ALONE...
Sounds like a GOOD PLAN?
In fact, it don't...
I really CARES... Especially seeing friends all posting their travel photos over FB...
I'm not envy, just not being happy that I'm not be able to share my joy...
I should think that I'm still fortunate to have such opportunity to be what I am now...
Enjoying what I have, knowing people I wanna know...
There are plenty of unfortunate out there envy with what I have...
So I should learn how to be grateful...
Ya, it sounds more like self comfort... But I have to think that way...
Thanks for all you guys did...
Really thank you...
Saturday, May 19, 2012
【巧克力 x 88】
今天我得到了一架新手机...
很谢谢爸爸！其实他们俩在我的考试给予的支持是永远不落人后...
他们对我的期待与信心甚至远过于我对自己的自信...
我会有时在他们面前口夸夸哄他们...
时不时作弄小弟来让他们有话题说笑...
但我知道他们对我的疼爱是有增无减...
考完试了，我还是不能提早上床休息...
也许生理时钟暂时被打乱还不能调整过来的缘故...
还有还有，咖啡不会是我的提神饮品...
因为再浓的Espresso只会让我心跳加快，不会有提神用途...
喝了反而会头会沉，也许还会更好睡....
下星期我想到外头走走...
这样的念头希望不会再泡汤 :)
在这学期的最大收获还是那2月份办的营会...
认识了很多来自不同分院的朋友...
Mary, 甄伊, Hui Sin, Jen Shen, Lian Fu, Jian Le 还有很多...
Mary的直率其实很好玩，可以疯癫甚至骂粗口？ XD
甄伊，恩，她好像一直被我欺负... 但都是口头上而已...
每一个新朋友都是为我的人生加入有趣的一页...
也许我们目前在不同分院上课...
但一次偶然的机会我们认识了...
3天后，我们回到了自己原本的岗位...
过着原本的生活，继续我们的日常生活或...
但难保我们10年以后出来社会工作再碰头说笑...
人生就是这么奇妙吧... :)
很谢谢爸爸！其实他们俩在我的考试给予的支持是永远不落人后...
他们对我的期待与信心甚至远过于我对自己的自信...
我会有时在他们面前口夸夸哄他们...
时不时作弄小弟来让他们有话题说笑...
但我知道他们对我的疼爱是有增无减...
考完试了，我还是不能提早上床休息...
也许生理时钟暂时被打乱还不能调整过来的缘故...
还有还有，咖啡不会是我的提神饮品...
因为再浓的Espresso只会让我心跳加快，不会有提神用途...
喝了反而会头会沉，也许还会更好睡....
下星期我想到外头走走...
这样的念头希望不会再泡汤 :)
在这学期的最大收获还是那2月份办的营会...
认识了很多来自不同分院的朋友...
Mary, 甄伊, Hui Sin, Jen Shen, Lian Fu, Jian Le 还有很多...
Mary的直率其实很好玩，可以疯癫甚至骂粗口？ XD
甄伊，恩，她好像一直被我欺负... 但都是口头上而已...
每一个新朋友都是为我的人生加入有趣的一页...
也许我们目前在不同分院上课...
但一次偶然的机会我们认识了...
3天后，我们回到了自己原本的岗位...
过着原本的生活，继续我们的日常生活或...
但难保我们10年以后出来社会工作再碰头说笑...
人生就是这么奇妙吧... :)
Friday, May 18, 2012
【巧克力 x 87】
好久没回来这里... 也生了灰尘吧...
经过了一个漫长的学期... 我也开始放慢了脚步...
人就是这么犯贱吧... 当忙着课业时想要放假..
可在放假时却可以无聊得不知所措...
这假期，我再次报考了那该死的P卷纸...
报考时间还离大学学期大考才4天...
12号，终于熬过了那两个星期的大考..
4天的闭关也真正开始........
我这次终于肯让自己认真看待自己的未来了...
一天有24小时，我从中午12时开始看书，做作业...
直到吃晚餐歇息，晚上8时再来第二轮到深夜3点...
第二天10点起床，浪费一小时梳洗看看面子书知道中午12时...
那作息再次被重复...
每一天这样的作息确实很不健康，但我在深夜的效率却还蛮不错...
结果4天的努力并没有白费... 这次我考上了...
也证明说我其实并不是想象中的差...
只是很多时候“以为”自己太多吵杂影响的...
其实一直都可以过得好好...
只要肯再放多一些心思，哪怕是那一点点，也许人生会不一样...
这次也让我不放弃的理想证明了一点...
我还不会太迟，只要我不放弃追求...
这段时间也认识了好多新朋友...
其中一些还一直在这段时间给予我很多的鼓励...
哪怕是句很普通的“加油”，其实都可以给我很大的动力...
谢谢你们 :)
经过了一个漫长的学期... 我也开始放慢了脚步...
人就是这么犯贱吧... 当忙着课业时想要放假..
可在放假时却可以无聊得不知所措...
这假期，我再次报考了那该死的P卷纸...
报考时间还离大学学期大考才4天...
12号，终于熬过了那两个星期的大考..
4天的闭关也真正开始........
我这次终于肯让自己认真看待自己的未来了...
一天有24小时，我从中午12时开始看书，做作业...
直到吃晚餐歇息，晚上8时再来第二轮到深夜3点...
第二天10点起床，浪费一小时梳洗看看面子书知道中午12时...
那作息再次被重复...
每一天这样的作息确实很不健康，但我在深夜的效率却还蛮不错...
结果4天的努力并没有白费... 这次我考上了...
也证明说我其实并不是想象中的差...
只是很多时候“以为”自己太多吵杂影响的...
其实一直都可以过得好好...
只要肯再放多一些心思，哪怕是那一点点，也许人生会不一样...
这次也让我不放弃的理想证明了一点...
我还不会太迟，只要我不放弃追求...
这段时间也认识了好多新朋友...
其中一些还一直在这段时间给予我很多的鼓励...
哪怕是句很普通的“加油”，其实都可以给我很大的动力...
谢谢你们 :)
Friday, April 6, 2012
【巧克力 x 86】
看回自己之前所post的帖子...
还真的觉得自己还带着以前的孩子气...
我还不够成熟圆滑... 但已开始在学把笑容带在脸上...
敢怒敢言，直肠直肚，这样的行为是在我骨子里头...
虽然不能说一定有用，但已经是我生活上的一部分...
曾经想把它们都丢去，可是发现原来吧他们丢去后的自己不会再是原来的我...
压力不是来自事件的本身，而是来自对事件的假想...
而就是这些假想让我们的压力无时被放大...
最近的考试接踵而来，有些喘不过气了...
第一次会因为课业的压力给爸爸妈妈传短讯发牢骚...
他们都很支持我，一直在背后给我鼓励...
但有些事情就是要自己奋力去面对...
老哥啊，你也不小了...
是时候要学会给自己无时打气加油了... =)
还真的觉得自己还带着以前的孩子气...
我还不够成熟圆滑... 但已开始在学把笑容带在脸上...
敢怒敢言，直肠直肚，这样的行为是在我骨子里头...
虽然不能说一定有用，但已经是我生活上的一部分...
曾经想把它们都丢去，可是发现原来吧他们丢去后的自己不会再是原来的我...
压力不是来自事件的本身，而是来自对事件的假想...
而就是这些假想让我们的压力无时被放大...
最近的考试接踵而来，有些喘不过气了...
第一次会因为课业的压力给爸爸妈妈传短讯发牢骚...
他们都很支持我，一直在背后给我鼓励...
但有些事情就是要自己奋力去面对...
老哥啊，你也不小了...
是时候要学会给自己无时打气加油了... =)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
【巧克力 x 85】
清明时节雨纷纷...
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这次我的情绪管理很好...
一点生气也没有，只是自我保护意识强了很多...
很多时候不会很直接地把矛头秀出来...
婉转了很多，要让自己的表现更好一些...
我不会再让别人的事情来主宰自己的情绪...
主宰自己的命运了... 好的劝告会接受...
负面的我会很仔细去分析再过滤...
这是每个华小生都耳熟能详的诗句吧...
说起来我也从没错过每一年的清明节...
从97年开始到现在都维持了扫墓的习惯...
不应该说是习惯吧，但我词穷... XD
不应该说是习惯吧，但我词穷... XD
今天的清明节被一大堆的的考试压得有些喘不过气...
一个星期里头都会被3个考试给搞昏头...
严格来说是连下3个星期被7个考试给搞砸...
跟妈妈说明后表示今年清明不怎么想回家了...
可是爸爸居然不理我的考试要我回家...
说道，我是长孙还是什么的... 其实我当时真的还生气了一下...
对，就是一下... 他的语气是很强硬，很不客气的...
一些都不体恤的回复...
我很不喜欢他这样的信息方式...
不想在生气时候回复信息，过了好久才回复...
结果在星期六考试当天我妥协...
打了电话给爸爸说我六点后得空...
要是他能够的话，过来把我载回家就好...
车上的聊天内容都是在课业的多...
报告一些我考试的分数...
读的科目到底为了在工作上要怎么运用...
用很简单的“语法”给他讲解了我的课业内容...
他也好奇问了一些...
告诉他说我会读不完，背不好方程式...
他却怪罪我说总是在Last Minute才念书...
在宿舍时不好好念，要回家清明节时才借故不回家...
这时我也真的不客气地答他：
“要是我真的不紧张我的课业，总是last minute的话...
我想我应该不会是现在的我，也不会顺利毕业了...”
“爸，我是会last minute才温习功课的人吗？”
车上我们两人沉默了两分钟...
最后我也很少回答他的问题了....
我想他也意识到自己的用词过分了...
就这样回到家后我继续在房间里头开车...
他出门见朋友喝茶去...
到了凌晨一点回到家发现我还在读书的他只是静静地上房间睡觉去...
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第二天的早上，还是一副臭屁脸...
靠，都很早起床了他还一副不喜欢的样子...
好了，买好包点了，到了叔叔家..
结果那么多年就今年最早了...
以为今年早到可以早些回家去休息念书...
最后，谢谢大伯和两位姑姑...
真的很%……&%×￥……&#……×￥
二姑，给什么烂理由说6点已经等了，还要怪大伯迟到...
为什么你住那么靠近还要麻烦人家？！
反正你都决定驾车了，干嘛不干脆到目的地聚头？！
最好笑的是，你到了目的地才问大伯车牌是不是1100....
你是个中学老师，你的common sense在哪里huh？！
你要跟车，居然不能在电话问清楚这些小细节？
需要到了目的地才来喧哗问这些？你不会觉得很可笑吗？
两个小时！！全部人都等了你两个小时...
到了一句对不起都不会说... 你的礼貌到底是到哪儿啦？
两个小时！！全部人都等了你两个小时...
到了一句对不起都不会说... 你的礼貌到底是到哪儿啦？
大伯，你一直来不负责任就算...
肚腩大，呼吸声吵也没差了...
不过为什么你一点卫生意识都没有？！
我们都用纸碟吃祭品... 你却用我妈妈的锅盖？！
WTH... 姑姑你很厉害，居然说他这样吃是因为他大吃...
大吃要这样哦？以后拿个大大的垃圾桶来装不会更好吗？
那么会说，不看你带个超大的纸盘来？
我说那要怎么盖回去把食物带回来？
“用tissue抹一下就可以了咯...”
你鸡蛋糕的福建面叉烧包啊！！！！
那锅东西我宁愿拿去倒算了...
什么是卫生？你的学历应该够来教育我们吧？
不需要我来告诉你这些吧？
你不介意的话，那以后用你的锅盖就好了...
随便吧，你都是这pattern... 我都不应该对你要求太高....
反正你也一直都不喜欢我了...
我的SPM成绩揭晓后，你对我做的事我会很记得的...
我原谅，不过我不会忘记！我会很记得这句话...
不要紧，反正以后我是不会靠你吃饭...
我也不需要对这些耿耿于怀...
错的我就顶撞就好...
oh 不好意思，我还是很有礼貌的顶撞...
过了还可以给你个灿烂的胜利微笑...
你能怎么样？不要以为我的妈妈真的那么好欺负了...
有我在，你最好不要轻易中伤她了...
那锅盖，我原谅，不过我会记得的..............
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这次我的情绪管理很好...
一点生气也没有，只是自我保护意识强了很多...
很多时候不会很直接地把矛头秀出来...
婉转了很多，要让自己的表现更好一些...
我不会再让别人的事情来主宰自己的情绪...
主宰自己的命运了... 好的劝告会接受...
负面的我会很仔细去分析再过滤...
这也算是很好一个上课时候了...
好老师，谢谢你，晚安！^_^
好老师，谢谢你，晚安！^_^
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
【巧克力 x 84】
I HATE BEING TOLD TO DO THIS AND THAT.!!!!!!!
我不喜欢被人家操纵的感觉...
我不喜欢被命令说要打电话哄哄还是什么的...
不要特地叫我做这些东西...
请你也要考虑我的心情...
我也有考试要做～～～～～
为什么你不可以体谅？！
为什么我读不进时候你还要给我这些东西？？！！！！！！
【巧克力 x 83】
今天看到了一些她的照片...
原来她说不需要我在毕业典礼卖花就是因为过后她跟班朋友要到云顶去...
我也有预感会有这样的事情了吧...
也证明了我的想法没有错...
我不会再时时刻刻注意她的面子书动态...
我不会再有事无事假惺惺地发信息做无谓的关心...
很多傻事都不会再去做... 也许这样也好...
她省了麻烦，我也省了心思去想那无谓东西...
一切都恢复了正常...
原来没有谁的生活不会有太大改变...
我没有惋惜，毕竟我们也从没开始...
只是我在一旁默默希望会发生...
把一切当作一场梦...
而现在是梦醒时分....
原来她说不需要我在毕业典礼卖花就是因为过后她跟班朋友要到云顶去...
我也有预感会有这样的事情了吧...
也证明了我的想法没有错...
我不会再时时刻刻注意她的面子书动态...
我不会再有事无事假惺惺地发信息做无谓的关心...
很多傻事都不会再去做... 也许这样也好...
她省了麻烦，我也省了心思去想那无谓东西...
一切都恢复了正常...
原来没有谁的生活不会有太大改变...
我没有惋惜，毕竟我们也从没开始...
只是我在一旁默默希望会发生...
把一切当作一场梦...
Sunday, March 18, 2012
【巧克力 x 82】
事情总算告一段落？
见了伯伯后，也让很多谜题给解开..
可是我还觉得很累... 因为人都是自私的...
就算把话说得再动听，只要仔细分析一下...
你会发现原来还是回到了自私的原点....
公司是四个人也好，两个人也好...
还是他一个人在做决定都好...
既然是多少个人有份儿，就要多少个人来承担...
一个人做决定不是厉害...
因为不是在拍什么英雄救世影片...
不需要一个大英雄在什么都没知会下私自动手...
这至少是对你的partner一个最基本的尊重...
难保你的决定不会带来好结果...
（现在就是发生了...）
届时又要你一个人扛？还是四个人一起扛？
你扛了，你家人会怎么想？
英雄？其他的partner都怕事？
虽然现在追究这些是于事无补，但这些做法在我眼里都不对...
那起码的尊重到底去了哪里？
他还是没把数目给说出口...
虽然说了不能解决什么问题...
可是也好让我们得到整件事的一个概念...
我不说他会骗还是什么的，但就是说不出那奇怪的地方....
原来以后的世界都是必须天天用这种心态过活？
互相猜疑的心态，甚至互相利用？
真的很累人...
P/S : 心情不好就是不能玩Tetris...
因为它只会让我的心情更加糟糕...
见了伯伯后，也让很多谜题给解开..
可是我还觉得很累... 因为人都是自私的...
就算把话说得再动听，只要仔细分析一下...
你会发现原来还是回到了自私的原点....
公司是四个人也好，两个人也好...
还是他一个人在做决定都好...
既然是多少个人有份儿，就要多少个人来承担...
一个人做决定不是厉害...
因为不是在拍什么英雄救世影片...
不需要一个大英雄在什么都没知会下私自动手...
这至少是对你的partner一个最基本的尊重...
难保你的决定不会带来好结果...
（现在就是发生了...）
届时又要你一个人扛？还是四个人一起扛？
你扛了，你家人会怎么想？
英雄？其他的partner都怕事？
虽然现在追究这些是于事无补，但这些做法在我眼里都不对...
那起码的尊重到底去了哪里？
他还是没把数目给说出口...
虽然说了不能解决什么问题...
可是也好让我们得到整件事的一个概念...
我不说他会骗还是什么的，但就是说不出那奇怪的地方....
原来以后的世界都是必须天天用这种心态过活？
互相猜疑的心态，甚至互相利用？
真的很累人...
P/S : 心情不好就是不能玩Tetris...
因为它只会让我的心情更加糟糕...
Thursday, March 15, 2012
【巧克力 x 81】
其实两个人在一起真的不会只是两个人的事...
两个人拍拖，可以是两家人在拍拖，也可以是两个世界在交往...
我一直都想，拍拖不可以让我的生活圈子变小...
它一定要让我能够踏出我的生活圈子，再融入她的生活...
但是这一切都只是想的份儿...
爸爸妈妈最近又再不怎么跟彼此说话...
这感觉很恐怖... 虽然也不再是第一次了...
但是我从来不会想要看见这样，也不会想要习惯...
担心与不安一直在心里传开，可是内心的呐喊没有人知道...
有人说家丑不能外扬...
我不怎么认为说不能外扬，只是有些事情不知道该从哪里说起...
很多时候我大豆不知道该怎么面对自己...
面对自己的未来，我没有把握...
很多时候我更像是汪洋中的一只小艇...
有时看到陆地，会很振奋地加快马力前进....
但一旦发现所谓的陆地其实只是个海市蜃楼，就会很泄气...
一次次的挫败，一次次的失望，一次次的再振奋...
也许这就是生活...
Mary说，人生就是这样...
我们要知道如何在适当的时候放下固执...
她说得对，尊严不能当饭吃...
不是说尊严不重要，只是很多时候，认错比逞强来得可贵...
在这宇宙里，我们只是显微镜下的卑微细菌...
当你认为这世界都在你脚下的时候...
其实只是你的视野被蒙蔽在你所谓的世界...
好了... 废话说完了...
我该好好休息再找寻新陆地了...
希望这次，陆地不会是个海市蜃楼....
两个人拍拖，可以是两家人在拍拖，也可以是两个世界在交往...
我一直都想，拍拖不可以让我的生活圈子变小...
它一定要让我能够踏出我的生活圈子，再融入她的生活...
但是这一切都只是想的份儿...
爸爸妈妈最近又再不怎么跟彼此说话...
这感觉很恐怖... 虽然也不再是第一次了...
但是我从来不会想要看见这样，也不会想要习惯...
担心与不安一直在心里传开，可是内心的呐喊没有人知道...
有人说家丑不能外扬...
我不怎么认为说不能外扬，只是有些事情不知道该从哪里说起...
很多时候我大豆不知道该怎么面对自己...
面对自己的未来，我没有把握...
很多时候我更像是汪洋中的一只小艇...
有时看到陆地，会很振奋地加快马力前进....
但一旦发现所谓的陆地其实只是个海市蜃楼，就会很泄气...
一次次的挫败，一次次的失望，一次次的再振奋...
也许这就是生活...
Mary说，人生就是这样...
我们要知道如何在适当的时候放下固执...
她说得对，尊严不能当饭吃...
不是说尊严不重要，只是很多时候，认错比逞强来得可贵...
在这宇宙里，我们只是显微镜下的卑微细菌...
当你认为这世界都在你脚下的时候...
其实只是你的视野被蒙蔽在你所谓的世界...
好了... 废话说完了...
我该好好休息再找寻新陆地了...
【巧克力 x 80】
不知不觉就到了80篇日志了...
这算不算是人生中的里程碑之一？
这几天都因为家里的事情而闷闷不乐...
从爸爸的生意失败，到公司破产...
爸爸的名誉受损，甚至在债务的压力下被迫破产...
我们私人借进公司的钱也化为乌有...
我从外国留学梦苏醒了...
妈妈低落时差些得了忧郁症，但很庆幸及时被开导了...
爸爸胆生石需要动手术，到一阵子还是不能适应多数食物...
其实这一切都熬过来了...
这一切都不会太难过不是吗？
不过很多时候，他们俩都会因为外来的因素而产生摩擦...
最糟糕是，这些摩擦发生后都没有很好的处理方式...
而我就开始了垃圾桶的角色...
当两人都不跟对方说话的时候，我必须扮演和事佬...
当两人很多时候因为怕对方反应强烈而把很多事情都收起来...
与其把问题都摊开，然后一个一个一起携手去解决.........
他们更加向往选择逃避... ... ... ... 也许不是他们，只是爸爸...
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那槟城的王八Dato“吃”掉了我们所有的财产...
他还毁掉了无数个家庭，上百个饭碗，甚至我们所有被牵连的人梦想...
对，我用了其实人心是肉做，那个王八就是要印证这事实...
我爸爸就是因为心软两个字，把自己拖到了今天的田地...
好不容易的等到公司倒闭的这一天...
欠债一定还不完，但是公司和私人其实可以分得很清楚...
毕竟法律上也注明了，公司是limited liability...
私人财产在法律上，是不能被用来还公债的...
但是爸爸还是要心软去救...
好一阵子我也不知道怎么去面对他..
我想他也一样,似乎我的成绩越好他就更有压力...
我会有很多如果... 很多很多的如果给自己去逃避...
很多很多的如果来怪罪自己...
如果我大多5年,也许我可以跟他一起分担...
如果我的成绩不怎么好,也许我会让他好过一些....
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有人说，人不为己，天诛地灭...
可是我爸爸却是完全相反的例子...
有时我在想，是他太有情还是世界太无情...
为什么他在为别人的时候，别人却没有想过要这样为他？
为什么他在帮别人把担子扛上自己的肩膀的时候，没有想想自己的肩膀会不会太重？
有很多的疑问在我的脑海盘旋...
这次好像他为了伯伯背上了更多的负担...
我还不知道为什么，不过很肯定的是他很累...
妈妈为这事情感到不快乐，因为她疼惜他...
但是很讽刺，这事却让他们之间的爱出现裂痕...
两个人的观点会因此而出现那么的差异是因为爱，还是因为什么？
只为了一句兄弟，他就毫不犹豫甚至可以倾家荡产？
每个人的尺不一样，可是这样做我也不怎么赞同...
要是因为他的哥哥，我们一家人都陷入困境，这样做值得吗？
就像我说，每个人的尺不一样.........
我不知道这样做是叫伟大还是愚昧...
我也许不会对他太反感，因为他始终是我爸爸...
我没有抱怨我得不到他的支持到外国留学...
我没有抱怨我得不到别人可以支付的物质享受...
可是当我弟弟也要因为他的作风而得到跟我一样的遭遇或者是比我更差的遭遇...
我想我不会抱怨我的弟弟会恨他...
他是我的爸爸，他们是我的弟弟...
我不会想要任何一个人受到伤害...
现在我可以把这一切都不告诉弟弟们...
可是时间久了，难保一切不会浮出水面...
届时弟弟们对爸爸又是什么样的看法？
妈妈的担心不是没有道理...
但这庆幸继续下去，我们的家还有没有未来？
我们的家会不会因为这些所谓的小事而被牺牲？
我不知道.... 但是我会恨....
恨为什么我们会疼惜我们的爸爸，他的兄弟姐妹却不会...
一味地剥削他的一切... 甚至剥削我们的希望....
我不知道这样的心态对不对...
但是在这考试的时期让我发现这一切，我真的混乱了.....
这两个星期... 我都魂不守舍的...
还两三次带错笔记上课去...
连我很热爱搞的活动，我也没去理会那么多...
很抱歉地说一声，我把一切都丢给了美贝...
很惭愧一切的大小事宜都让她一个人包办...
活动过去了，可是我的问题依然还没有解决...
明天就是micro test了...
希望这不会是让我更加担忧的一件事.....
这算不算是人生中的里程碑之一？
这几天都因为家里的事情而闷闷不乐...
从爸爸的生意失败，到公司破产...
爸爸的名誉受损，甚至在债务的压力下被迫破产...
我们私人借进公司的钱也化为乌有...
我从外国留学梦苏醒了...
妈妈低落时差些得了忧郁症，但很庆幸及时被开导了...
爸爸胆生石需要动手术，到一阵子还是不能适应多数食物...
其实这一切都熬过来了...
这一切都不会太难过不是吗？
不过很多时候，他们俩都会因为外来的因素而产生摩擦...
最糟糕是，这些摩擦发生后都没有很好的处理方式...
而我就开始了垃圾桶的角色...
当两人都不跟对方说话的时候，我必须扮演和事佬...
当两人很多时候因为怕对方反应强烈而把很多事情都收起来...
与其把问题都摊开，然后一个一个一起携手去解决.........
他们更加向往选择逃避... ... ... ... 也许不是他们，只是爸爸...
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那槟城的王八Dato“吃”掉了我们所有的财产...
他还毁掉了无数个家庭，上百个饭碗，甚至我们所有被牵连的人梦想...
对，我用了其实人心是肉做，那个王八就是要印证这事实...
我爸爸就是因为心软两个字，把自己拖到了今天的田地...
好不容易的等到公司倒闭的这一天...
欠债一定还不完，但是公司和私人其实可以分得很清楚...
毕竟法律上也注明了，公司是limited liability...
私人财产在法律上，是不能被用来还公债的...
但是爸爸还是要心软去救...
好一阵子我也不知道怎么去面对他..
我想他也一样,似乎我的成绩越好他就更有压力...
我会有很多如果... 很多很多的如果给自己去逃避...
很多很多的如果来怪罪自己...
如果我大多5年,也许我可以跟他一起分担...
如果我的成绩不怎么好,也许我会让他好过一些....
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有人说，人不为己，天诛地灭...
可是我爸爸却是完全相反的例子...
有时我在想，是他太有情还是世界太无情...
为什么他在为别人的时候，别人却没有想过要这样为他？
为什么他在帮别人把担子扛上自己的肩膀的时候，没有想想自己的肩膀会不会太重？
有很多的疑问在我的脑海盘旋...
这次好像他为了伯伯背上了更多的负担...
我还不知道为什么，不过很肯定的是他很累...
妈妈为这事情感到不快乐，因为她疼惜他...
但是很讽刺，这事却让他们之间的爱出现裂痕...
两个人的观点会因此而出现那么的差异是因为爱，还是因为什么？
只为了一句兄弟，他就毫不犹豫甚至可以倾家荡产？
每个人的尺不一样，可是这样做我也不怎么赞同...
要是因为他的哥哥，我们一家人都陷入困境，这样做值得吗？
就像我说，每个人的尺不一样.........
我不知道这样做是叫伟大还是愚昧...
我也许不会对他太反感，因为他始终是我爸爸...
我没有抱怨我得不到他的支持到外国留学...
我没有抱怨我得不到别人可以支付的物质享受...
可是当我弟弟也要因为他的作风而得到跟我一样的遭遇或者是比我更差的遭遇...
我想我不会抱怨我的弟弟会恨他...
他是我的爸爸，他们是我的弟弟...
我不会想要任何一个人受到伤害...
现在我可以把这一切都不告诉弟弟们...
可是时间久了，难保一切不会浮出水面...
届时弟弟们对爸爸又是什么样的看法？
妈妈的担心不是没有道理...
但这庆幸继续下去，我们的家还有没有未来？
我们的家会不会因为这些所谓的小事而被牺牲？
我不知道.... 但是我会恨....
恨为什么我们会疼惜我们的爸爸，他的兄弟姐妹却不会...
一味地剥削他的一切... 甚至剥削我们的希望....
我不知道这样的心态对不对...
但是在这考试的时期让我发现这一切，我真的混乱了.....
这两个星期... 我都魂不守舍的...
还两三次带错笔记上课去...
连我很热爱搞的活动，我也没去理会那么多...
很抱歉地说一声，我把一切都丢给了美贝...
很惭愧一切的大小事宜都让她一个人包办...
活动过去了，可是我的问题依然还没有解决...
明天就是micro test了...
希望这不会是让我更加担忧的一件事.....
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
【巧克力 x 79】
To you, who feels lost,
The world always seems powerful against you; as if everyone else has somewhere to go or someone to belong to, yet you don’t. But that’s not true. Because everyone feels inferior on the inside, whether or not if they show it.
Know that you are beautiful, but not everyone is going to be able to see that. Take a deep breath, and let your worries and inferiority go. With faith and confidence, your heart will be your be your compass and soon enough, you’ll find your way. I’m sure.
To you, who feels discouraged,
Challenges never fail to put us down. With its mighty mountain, steep journey and endless hike, challenges always make it feel impossible.
But hey, when you were 5, you never thought you’d ever be able to sum 1000 with 1200. The numbers seemed huge, and it just felt like something beyond you. But look now, you can add it up with a blink of an eye. So what makes you think the challenge ahead of you is impossible?
All these bumps and falls only make you stronger. Don’t give up now that you’re becoming stronger.
Thanks Mei Yee... ^_^
The world always seems powerful against you; as if everyone else has somewhere to go or someone to belong to, yet you don’t. But that’s not true. Because everyone feels inferior on the inside, whether or not if they show it.
Know that you are beautiful, but not everyone is going to be able to see that. Take a deep breath, and let your worries and inferiority go. With faith and confidence, your heart will be your be your compass and soon enough, you’ll find your way. I’m sure.
To you, who feels discouraged,
Challenges never fail to put us down. With its mighty mountain, steep journey and endless hike, challenges always make it feel impossible.
But hey, when you were 5, you never thought you’d ever be able to sum 1000 with 1200. The numbers seemed huge, and it just felt like something beyond you. But look now, you can add it up with a blink of an eye. So what makes you think the challenge ahead of you is impossible?
All these bumps and falls only make you stronger. Don’t give up now that you’re becoming stronger.
Thanks Mei Yee... ^_^
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